NAVY RANK RECOGNITION!
ADMIRAL:
Leaps tall buildings with a single bound, is more powerful than a locomotive, is faster than a speeding bullet, walks on water amid typhoons, REVIEWS POLICY WITH GOD.
CAPTAIN:
Leaps short buildings with a single bound, is just as fast as a speeding bullet, walks on water if sea is calm, TALKS TO GOD.
COMMANDER:
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds, is faster than a speeding BB, walks on water in indoor swimming pool, TALKS TO GOD ONLY IF A SPECIAL REQUEST CHIT IS APPROVED.
LIEUTENANT COMMANDER:
Barely clears Quonset hut, can fire a speeding bullet, swims well, IS OCCASIONALLY ADDRESSED BY GOD.
LIEUTENANT:
Makes high marks by trying to leap buildings, is run over by the locomotive, can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self injury, dog paddles, TALKS TO ANIMALS.
LIEUTENANT JUNIOR GRADE:
Runs into buildings, recognizes locomotives two out of three times, is not issued ammunition, can stay afloat if properly instructed in the Mae-West, TALKS TO BULKHEADS.
ENSIGN:
Falls over doorstep when trying to enter building, says look at the Choo-Choo, wets himself, plays in mud puddles, MUMBLES TO HIMSELF.
CHIEF:
Lifts buildings and walks under them, kicks locomotives off the tracks, catches speeding bullets in his teeth and eats them, freezes water with a single glance, makes policy and enforces it, HE IS GOD!
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